The birth of a child is always an event, a miracle and magic. Moms and dads can imagine the future baby as much as they want, his/her appearance – eyes, a nose, as well as character traits, what they would like to see. But hardly anyone of them will be able to accurately predict the temperament of the long-awaited son or daughter, his/her behavior and developmental features.
Temperament is an innate specificity of the human nervous system, a combination of personal genetically embodied characteristics of each individual.
The temperament of a child, and then of an adult, is something that can not be changed, what we have to live with, love and work on. In order for a child to grow up to be a full-fledged, adaptive, socially attractive, successful adult, it is extremely important for parents to understand what kind of child they have, and what levers need to be influenced to maximally help them become a harmonious person.
Why is it important to know your child’s temperament?
Since birth, all people are very different, even if they are brothers and sisters. With the same methods of upbringing practiced in the family, one kid grows up for joy, like the sun, admiring and surprising, and the other constantly upsets, cries, grizzles, tires. Such contrast often causes anxiety and misunderstanding of parents. And here, friends and relatives also “take part”: “Why do you have such a tearful child?”, “Maybe something hurts him?”, “Spoiled completely! What “mommy’s son/daughter” do you grow up”? And so on. Moms and daddies of small “aggressors” are knocked off their feet, they all the time feel that something is wrong with their baby, they storm the offices of neurologists, try different folk “soothing” measures and means, turn to healers, try dozens of programs on calming and developing …
All this is in vain and the child is 99% healthy, just need to look for a key, which is hidden deep in the intricacies of psychology. Mother Nature awarded the baby at birth certain personal qualities, which needed to be understood to know the child’s temperament.
Often, as children grow up, the gap between them and their parents widens. Misunderstanding, fatigue from communication, disappointment – this is the minimum that awaits the family, if not make efforts in time to learn, accept and correct the innate characteristics of behavior and the development of the children. Knowing the temperament of their child, parents can completely avoid or minimize the risk of conflict situations in the family, become real friends to their children, open up to them many roads and ways in life.
The child and his/her temperament: test
Before you start testing, you need to clearly understand that good and bad temperaments DO NOT EXIST. Each of the psychotypes has its strengths and weaknesses, especially since a “pure” temperament is an extreme rarity, in 90% of cases we have mixed features of different types, among which some dominate and others are present.
Psychologists divide people by temperament into 4 groups. Each type has its own characteristics.
- Choleric – explosive, emotional, instantly get excited, it is extremely difficult to reassure them . There is a risk of rapid depletion of the nervous system.
- Sanguine – communicative, adapt well to changing conditions, easy to communicate, balanced.
- Melancholic – whiny, vulnerable, kind and trusting, often in need of increased tactile attention.
- Phlegmatic – calm, sometimes too slow in terms of both physical and mental activity. Strong nervous system.
Do you recognize something familiar? For sure you do. And now the test itself, which will help to better orient and understand what types of temperament are dominant in your child.
Five questions with four variants of answers, for each question it is necessary to choose a single answer.
Five questions with four variants of answers, for each question it is necessary to choose a single answer.
How does the child respond to comments and criticism?
a) Accepts calmly, admits guilt, tries to correct it.
b) The main reaction is crying, resentment, anxiety.
c) Immediately asks for forgiveness, assures that he/she will NEVER do it again, but in two hours or a day acts the same way.
d) Comes into a rage – stomping, screaming, becomes aggressive, continues to do what he/she did.
What do we play?
a) He/she is not afraid of playing alone, as a rule, these are quiet, concentrated activities without unnecessary emotions and body movements.
b) He/she prefers quiet games, but too tired quickly, begins to be distracted.
c) More often these are active games, the child is curious.
d) He/she likes to “play to the crowd”, all entertainments are noisy, attracting the attention.
Social position
a) Getting in an unfamiliar environment remains calm, the emotions are extremely restrained, the interest is not clearly expressed.
b) Confuses, hides.
c) Adaptation to a new place requires a minimum of time, child is keenly interested in everything that deserves attention, is included in a general conversation or business.
d) The behavior is too excited, nervous, active.
How does the child make decisions?
a) Very carefully and calmly, the decision-making is not connected with fluctuations.
b) It takes time, acts hesitantly, doubts.
c) The choice is made instantly.
d) Decides quickly, but also can quickly change it.
How does the child communicate with peers?
a) The conversation is measured, free, calm.
b) More listens than speaks, always remains behind the company, catching up, indecisiveness in a manner of speaking.
c) Communication is easy, clear, fast. Does not interrupt other children, listens to them – agrees or reasonably objects.
d) Always speaks louder than the others, annoys in conversations, hears only himself/herself, does not pay attention to the opinions of others.
Now the answers:
- The majority of “a” is a phlegmatic kid.
- The majority of “b” is a melancholic kid.
- The majority of “c is a sanguine kid.
- The majority of “d” is a choleric kid.
Using the method of simple observations, you can clearly make a general picture of the features of your child’s temperament, identify features characteristic of different types. And with the help of special knowledge and patience learn to get along with even the most peculiar manifestations of child psychology.
