Excessive child responsibility
Each of us, adult uncles and aunts, is familiar in the past with at least one overly executive or too obligatory child. How not? Do you think so? And you remember Masha from your class, who, at the first request of the teacher to write a good homework, had already “concocted” her excellent opus during the break and immediately passed it to the test. Or Kohl from the technical school, who was asked to make a feeder, and he brought a feeder with a birdhouse decorated with ornate patterns. Remember the neighbor Lucy, who instead of jumping rope in the yard, running around and rejoicing, locked herself in her room and stared at another topic on geography.
Being executive and responsible
This is not to say that all of the above is bad. Of course, there are many positive aspects to doing everything better than anyone else, to responsibly relate to goals and tasks set by someone. But! In all of this there are hidden negative sides, big pitfalls that interfere with the normal course of life of such a responsible child.
Yes, he is well done, that he learned not half of the poem, as it was asked, but he knows everything by heart. Yes, he stayed in the classroom after everyone left and washed the floor, because there was no one else. And now think about it. The child did good for someone, he worked with the focus not on himself, but on someone else, to the detriment of himself. He wants to look better in the eyes of classmates, relatives and friends, but he is still not in a position to think that very few people will appreciate such victims and will give it as much importance as the responsible child himself.
Too responsible children are often too fair. They always make the right decisions and expect the same from others. They are straightforward and believe that it is better true than a veiled lie. Such children often become outcasts or simply invisible gray mice. Justice has its advantages, but our world is now arranged in such a way that a child should understand where it is possible to be fair, and where it is necessary to gossip a little, “back off” and restrain one’s fervor in search of a just truth.
How to help the child?
You can talk a lot about how to be better. Responsible or fair, honest or not. Just remember one thing. A responsible and fair child is born this way; he cannot change drastically. You can help him a little, so that his sincere wishes will be appreciated by others.
Tell your child that Vanya-Dasha-Sveta-Peter can also clean the floor with him and should not do the general work himself. Remind you that slavery has long been eradicated. And that some children simply use his unnecessary sense of responsibility. Tell him that the hour that the child spent cleaning the class alone could be spent on more pleasant moments: read a book in an autumn warm park, watch a favorite movie, eat ice cream, after all.
If your child wants to be the best and seeks to learn more than what was asked, do not take away such an opportunity from him. Just advise him not to speak too actively in the lesson, it will be enough to tell what was asked so that classmates do not consider him an upstart. And the child learned won’t hurt, let him use his knowledge for his own purposes.
Those parents who believe that an excessively high sense of responsibility and justice of the child becomes a burden for them should learn to use these feelings for their own benefit, but with minimal damage and impairment of the rights of the child. Consider it this way: if you asked to wash the dishes, you can be sure that your order will be executed. There is nothing wrong with work, and the benefits to the family are enormous. If you are asked to pick up a younger brother or sister from the garden, then this task will be completed without any reservations. Do not blame yourself for the fact that your child is too responsible for everything that they are asked or forced to do. Tell him that many people will simply be bound by it. Having matured, your child will learn to distinguish between selfish and disinterested people, will learn to set priorities. And now you just have to help him a little.
Being persistent, responsible and fair, your child, with proper education, can reach leadership heights in the team in which he spends his time. But in order to become a true leader of these qualities alone, it is sometimes not enough. Tell him about the main qualities of the leader, think together with what he already has and what else you can achieve or learn. Talk to your child, help him grow. Wrap a high sense of justice and responsibility in a beneficial direction for the child. Be firm and persistent. Believe me, he will understand you.
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